Effective Engineering e-Newsletter – 8/4/2005
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Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say, and Do What You Say
Tom Dennis – President, Effective Engineering [email@example.com]
When I graduated from college many years
ago, I went to work at Bell Labs, one of the pre-eminent R&D organizations
in the world, during its glory days. I worked there for about 20 years before moving on to a
variety of smaller companies and individual consulting. I left Bell Labs over 16 years ago, and I had lost touch with
most of my colleagues there. Recently
one of those colleagues, Dave Bergeron, contacted me out of the blue and put
me in touch with a group of the folks I “grew up” with at Bell Labs.
I am extremely grateful to him for re-connecting me and rekindling long
dormant memories, emotions, and connections.
I learned a lot about engineering and professionalism during my time at Bell
Labs from both good and bad role models.
While you can learn a lot from both, and often even learn more from bad
role models (See eN-030605
– Learn From Good Role Models; Learn More From Bad!), the person who I
learned the most from was an exceptionally good role model.
John Sheehan was one of my early managers and has had a profound impact
on me as an engineer, a manager, and a person.
His capabilities, outlook, and professional approach led him to
deservedly rise in the Bell Labs organization.
John had an expression that was his guiding principle; one that I
adopted and that has served me well. It is, “Say what you mean, mean what
you say, and do what you say you’ll do”.
It is an expression that can guide everyone who adopts it well, at work
and in life.
Let’s dissect this expression by discussing each of its parts.
First, “Say what you mean”. How
many people do you know who say what they think the people they’re
talking to want or expect to hear rather than speaking the unvarnished facts?
Or present things in “politically correct” terminology, often
obfuscating what they’re saying in seemingly “proper” language.
When this happens, the facts are not really presented.
Often when they speak in this fashion, the people they’re speaking
with need to apply a “reverse translator” to try to convert what has been
said to what was really meant (see eN-050707
– Can You Hear Me Now?”). This
approach is extremely inefficient and often misleading or even dangerous. Isn’t it better to hear what was meant rather than what the
speaker thinks you want to hear? How
can people expect to make informed decisions if the person speaking to them
isn’t saying what he/she means? By
really saying what you mean, you cut through the clutter and present the facts
or your direct opinion so that things can be discussed meaningfully without
going through a kabuki dance. While
this direct approach of saying what you mean may startle, surprise, or
discomfort others, you’re really better off knowing
directly what was meant rather than having to interpret, often incorrectly.
This doesn’t mean you should be insulting, just direct.
Next, “Mean what you say”. If
you say what you mean, but you don’t really mean what you say, what have you
gained or what has the person you’re speaking with gained?
If you don’t mean what you say, you’re lying or at least
misleading. There may be times when you want to be careful not to hurt
someone’s feelings or betray a trust, but that means being diplomatic, not
misleading. If you say what you
mean, and mean what you say, you can build a foundation of trust.
You speak your mind, and stand behind what you’re saying.
Done right, people will recognize that while they may not always like
or agree with what you say, they know they will always get the straight scoop from you.
By not coupling these two parts together, trust relationships will
become difficult if not impossible.
Finally, “Do what you say you’ll do”.
If you commit to do something, follow through!
Deliver on what you’ve promised.
Let people know that your word is your bond.
If circumstances prevent you from delivering fully, report back the
cause of the problem. By saying what you mean and meaning what you say, you’ve gone a long
way to build trust with the people you work and deal with.
If you don’t then follow through on your commitments, that trust will
not only be squandered, it will leave a very bad taste in other people’s
mouths. You’ve led them to
believe you and trust you, and then you let them down.
Trust is difficult to build, but extremely easy to destroy.
Be the person you would like to be and the person you would like others
This is much like the golden rule, “Do unto others as you would have them
do unto you”, but I believe “Say what you mean, mean what you say,
and do what you say you’ll do” goes beyond that.
It lets people know that you are a straight shooter who tells it like
it is and delivers on your commitments. You
are someone who can be trusted and valued.
Now of course, we’re all human and we sometimes fall short of our ideal
behavior. No one is perfect. Still,
when that happens, recognize it (sometimes this may be difficult, but as they
say recognizing that you have a problem is a critical first step), apologize
sincerely for falling short, and do what is required to correct your shortfall
and go beyond what is required. Do
this willingly and with gusto. With
such a positive attitude you can recover lost trust.
Without such an attitude, hard earned trust may be lost forever.
It is for others to tell whether I live up to this credo, for trust is earned
and not owed. I hope that I do,
and I strongly recommend this to others.
So remember, “Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say, and Do What
You Say You’ll Do!” Right,
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